When my Nightmares become Real
by FictionButterfly
Summary: Alfred never expected this. He had never wanted this. His brother's world had come apart at the seams and he never knew. Now where his parents had failed, it was up to him and his friends to put the puzzle back together. He only hoped that all the pieces were still there... Hetalia Human AU. Trigger warnings within. Please be sure to read the author's note at the beginning.


**Before you start reading this there are some things that you absolutely must know. This is a dark as hell story and within is many possible triggers. I ask that you read with caution in regard to mentions of: physical, mental and sexual abuse/rape directed toward a person under age, drug usage, heavy swearing, and mentions of self harm and attempted suicide. These triggers will apply to all segments of this story. In no way is this story making light of any of the mentioned triggers and shall remain as such.**

 **The issues presented will not be candy coated, as it would be disrespectful to any who have experienced any of these things. If you are one of those people, truly my heart goes out to you. There is great darkness in this world. Things that just aren't right and no sugar coating will ever make them tolerable. Be strong for the future, and fight so that others do not have to suffer as you did.**

 **The last thing that I want to mention is that this story will be released in segments. This first segment is to test the waters on how it will be recieved, as the story may be far too dark for some. If enough interest is showed, I will continue to progress the story as I find time to write it.**

* * *

It had first started when Alfred and Arthur were walking down the street. True, it was a more unsavory place to be, but they knew these streets. They _breathed_ these streets. They knew of the corruption and deceit and _filth_ that walked these streets, but they both loved it. It was what they knew. What they cared about. Granted that they didn't know all the inner workings of this place. It would be to hard to do, with all the comings and goings that occurred here. Rich men with money to spend on their... _darker_ pleasures.

It was there, on the steps of a known whore house, the Crimson Lady as it was known in some circles, that was especially popular with the men that had money, that Alfred spotted someone with light blond wavy hair with a stray curl and froze. Arthur continued a few steps before also stopping and giving a curious look at his partner.

"Alfred?" The smaller blond questioned. "Is everything alright? You look as you're seen a ghost…"

Alfred shook his head slowly and started taking slow steps toward that person. Someone dear from his tender childhood days.

" _Mattie_?" He whispered and the figure snapped their head around at the nickname, mouth opening slightly in surprise, cigarette drooping from their bottom lip and glasses flashing in the light, hiding his blue almost purple eyes.

" _Fuck._ " Matthew stood quickly and went to enter the whorehouse.

"Mattie, _wait_!" Alfred reached his brother and grabbed his arm before he could escape. "God, what are you doing here? Are you _living_ here?" He asked, horrified.

"What the hell do you care?" Matthew jerked his arm out of the elder brother's grasp. "Stay out of my life, Alfred. Fuck off." He said harshly.

"No! Mattie, you can't live here! This is a whore house!" He paled slightly. "God…..don't tell me…."

"I said _fuck. off_." Matthew hissed. "It's none of your business. It stopped being your business the second you stepped foot out of that door." He took the cigarette from his mouth and dropped it on the ground, crushing it forcefully under heel as if he imagined it being Alfred's head.

The door behind him opened and a tall man with broad shoulders and raven black hair stepped out. "These guys botherin' you, Mattie?" The deep bass rumbled.

"No, James. They were just leavin'." Matthew glared pointedly at the two blonds. "They ain't customers so they can _fuck off_."

The slender man slipped past James and into the house as the large man stared at them. "Gentlemen." He rumbled and closed the door.

"Alfred…." Arthur placed a hand on his arm. "Who was that man…?"

"...He's my little brother…." Alfred sighed and rubbed his face. "I fucked up, Iggy. I fucked up big time…."

~o0o~

"So…..what's the story?" Arthur placed a cup of tea in front of his partner before sitting across from him, his own cup in hand.

Alfred tiredly rubbed his face. "When….when I was thirteen...I ran away from home. It was a good home but…..I wanted my freedom. Stupid at thirteen, huh? Didn't seem stupid at the time…" He stared down at his cup in silence for a moment. "...I got lucky. Found a good place to stay. They didn't make me go back home. Taught me. Allowed me to get a job as an agent. I got to be a hero, like I always wanted…...guess I stopped being _his_ hero when I left…" He chuckled weakly. "Mattie was a sweetheart. Quiet. Shy. Good kid…...looked up to me….momma's boy, that's for sure...he had this little stuffed polar bear he'd always carry around…." His voice broke. "Oh god, Arthur….I let him down…." He buried his head into his hands, pressing his palms against his eyes to try and stop the tears.

Arthur set down his cup in surprise, standing and moving over to Alfred. "This isn't your fault, Alfred. You don't know what happened." He said gently. "Don't tear yourself up over this…."

"How can I _not_ , Arthur?! What if me leaving _caused_ all of this?" He said brokenly. "God….the thought of it being _my fault_ …"

Arthur sighed and patted Alfred's head gently. "We'll look in the database. We'll find out what happened." He tried to sooth. "Come on. Let's have a look, lad."

Alfred nodded and sniffled softly, wiping away any stray tears before following Arthur into their computer room.

Arthur put the phone on speaker after dialing a special number. They waited a few rings before someone picked up. "Echo November Golf Lima Alpha November Delta." Arthur said and there was a pause at the other end.

"Whatcha need agent?" Came a smooth female voice.

"Need some dirt on a kid."

"His name's Matthew Williams." Alfred chimed in softly.

"...I'll link the database to your computers, then. Give me a moment."

"Thanks, Carly. I appreciate it."

"No probs, sweetie."

There was a few moments of the soft noise of Carly's keyboard clicking softly under her fingers.

"Alright guys, there's your dirt. Have fun digging." She said and hung up.

"Right. Let's get to it, lad." Arthur took a seat at his desk, Alfred hovering behind him.

With a few smooth clicks of a mouse Arthur pulled up all the information on Alfred's brother.

"Good god…." Arthur whispered softly. "He's part of a cold case from four years ago…."

"That would make him eighteen at the time….."

"Matthew Williams is the main suspect in the murder of his father, Charles Williams. Charles was found in his bedroom of the family home with multiple stab wounds. No clothing was found on his body. Indications showed that he had been engaged in sexual intercourse at the time of his death, mainly a condom still being worn….when tested….good god…..when tested….Matthew's DNA was found….on the condom….."

Alfred froze. "No. Don't….Dad would never-! He was a good man! _He wouldn't do that!_ " He was shouting by the end, squeezing his eyes closed and fisting his hands in his hair, trying to block out reality.

"Alfred….the tox screen shows that your father was drunk at the time…" Arthur whispered. "And examination of his liver showed that he had been a heavy drinker for quite a long time….."

"Mom….What about mom?! She would have never let that happen." Alfred shook his head, his eyes staying closed.

A few more clicks from Arthur and he sighed. "I'm sorry, Alfred…..it says your mother…..hung herself eight years ago….."

"God…..oh god. That was a year after I left. Oh god. I-if….if he was a drunk for that long….what if….oh god, _what if that wasn't the only time?!_ "

"Alfred. Alfred, pull yourself together, lad!" Arthur knelt beside his partner as Alfred started to cry. "Shh. Shh, lad. It's alright." He said softly. "It's alright. We'll fix this….somehow we'll fix this….we can call in a couple of favors. Get your brother the help he needs to get out of whatever he's into. I promise you, we'll help your brother." He gently smoothed down Alfred's hair. "I promise."

~o0o~

"Mattie…..?" A soft female voice came floating into the room accompanied by a soft knocking. "I know you're upset but…..Alexi wants to see you…"

Matthew sighed softly and slid out of his bed from where he was resting. "Thanks, Lil." He passed her as he left the room, giving her hand a gentle squeeze as he did so. He made his way down the the 'office', a room on the bottom floor where the customers made their appointments. He knocked on the door and opened it when commanded.

"Lil said you wanted to see me, Sir?" He asked softly as he entered.

"Shut the door, Matthew." Alexi's back was to Matthew as he shuffled some papers around.

Matthew complied. All of the whores there were careful to not get on Alexi's bad side. Punishment always included withdrawals from Alexi's specific drug that he distributed twice a day to be sure the whores wouldn't leave him. The other part of the punishment was 'personal time' with Alexi. He was a rough man with painful tastes for his partners.

"James told me that we had a little….trouble….earlier." The smooth voice of Alexi said as he turned. He was an oily looking man with cold hard eyes. _Snake_ , Matthew always thought when he looked at him.

"No, sir. No troubles." Matthew said softly, careful to keep his eyes on Alexi's.

"Oh? You better hope not, dear little Matthew. We don't want a…. _repeat_ …of .what happened last time, now do we?"

Matthew paled visibly. "N-no, sir."

"Good boy. Go on and get some more rest. You have a full night."

"Yes, sir."

~o0o~

"We can't go through the official channels." Arthur said thoughtfully.

"I know. We can't do that to Mattie. Most pimps have their whores hooked on something to keep them there. We can't get him arrested. They would send him back to Fairveiw to be tried for dad's murder…."

"It would be made worse by any withdrawals."

"Got any favors you could call in, Iggy?"

"Ludwig and Gilbert owe us for helping them with protection detail a couple years back. Could call that in."

"What about Roderich? He owe us?"

"No, but we could owe him. He'd be able to help us when the withdrawal hits…"

"Francis?"

"No! We are not asking the frog for help!"

"He's got money, Iggy. He could set up for a session and then get Mattie out of there. We can't just go charging in with someone not on the inside to help."

"...You know I hate that git, Alfred."

"I know, Iggy, but come on. We gotta save Mattie from that bastard."

"...Fine, Alfred. But you owe me for this one!"

"Thanks, Iggy. Means a lot to me."

"Yeah, yeah. Give me the phone. I'll make some calls."

~o0o~

(Three days later)

"Ok, everyone knows the plan right?" Arthur looked over those gathered in his and Alfred's temporary apartment.

There was a lot of nods around the room as his eyes passed to each one.

"Good. Francis, remember to be extra careful. Matthew wasn't exactly...friendly...when we last saw him. Don't tell him anything that's going on."

The Frenchman waved him off. "I know. I know. Just knock 'im out before we sneak 'im out. Ce n'est pas un problème."

Arthur nodded. "Remember to keep your tap on. Let us know if there's any problems."

"Oui, oui. I got it." He looked at the watch on his wrist. "We need to 'ead out if we are to get there on time."

"Right. Let's get going, then." Alfred nodded. "Roderich, we'll meet you at the safe house."

~o0o~

The Frenchmen looked around the 'office' carefully, waiting for Alexi to give him the go ahead. He had had to pay a pretty penny in order to get Matthew for just an hour. Not that he'd actually be doing anything.

"Everything checks out, Mr. Smith." Came Alexi's smooth voice as he looked up from his computer. "Room 6 on the second floor. You have an hour. Have fun." He gave Frances a smile that left him feeling sick as he thanked him and headed up to the room. Next was to grab the kid and sneak him out to the others under the slime ball's nose. He paused at the designated room and carefully knocked. The door opened to a darkened room, Matthew on the other side.

"Mr. Smith." He said, fluttering his lashes at him behind his glasses. "I've been expecting you…"

He stepped aside to allow the frenchmen in and closed the door behind him.

"Let's get started, shall we…?" He said smoothly and passed him, starting to unbutton his shirt with nimble fingers. He started to allow the shirt to slip from his shoulders as Francis came up behind him. He withdrew a syringe filled by Roderich earlier in order to knock Matthew out. Francis slid his hand up Matthew's bare chest as he uncapped the syringe with his teeth. He quickly covered Matthew's mouth to muffle the cry of surprise and pain as he pushed the syringe into his neck. He withdrew it when it was emptied and recapped it, slipping it back in his pocket and easing Matthew's descent to the floor.

"I got 'im." He reported softly to the mic hidden carefully under his shirt. "Shouldn't be 'ard to move. There's a fire escape right outside the window. If we get 'im out that way, no one should notice. I'm sure the others are….otherwise occupied at the moment…"

"Roger that." Came an equally soft reply from Arthur. "Bring him on down, Francis. Let's get this done. Ludwig and Gilbert are waiting below."

"Alright. Coming down." Francis lifted the unconscious male after tugging the unbuttoned shirt back onto his shoulders. He slid the window open with one hand, holding the smaller man on his shoulder with the other. He slipped out, careful with both his and the others head while doing so. He glanced down and saw Ludwig and Gilbert waiting for him. He moved down the escape, holding tight to the unconscious man.

"Retrieval complete." Ludwig said into his own mic as Francis reached the ground. "We have your brother, Alfred."

"Alright guys. Bring him to the van and we'll get out of here."

"Roger. Bringing him now."

The three men stopped their movements as a rather large shadow loomed in front of them. "What are you doin' with little Matthew there, gentlemen?" A voice rumbled, familiar to Alfred and Arthur.

"Hold up guys. Don't do anything. I'll be right there." Alfred said quickly, Arthur protesting in the background.

He came trotting around to the entrance of the ally. "Hey there, big guy. James, right?"

James turned and settled his gaze on Alfred. "You are one of the gentlemen from before."

"Yeah, man. Listen, I'm taking my baby bro back, alright? You can't stop me." Alfred shrugged. "Sorry. I'm not letting him stay here."

James nodded slightly and sighed. "He is a troubled young man. Much has happened to him. He has been here for four years now. Alexi has a tight grasp on his whores. Matthew is a favorite of the customers. He will come after you, I promise you that. I will not stop you, however, you must be careful of the withdrawals."

"What does Alexi give them?" Francis asked.

"A drug of his own making. Injection." He tapped his inner thigh. "Withdrawals are painful. Alexi liked to use them as a form of punishment. Hallucinations. Matthew remembers. He scratches. Scratches himself." He made scratching motions toward his arms. "He will draw blood if you aren't careful. Last time he almost killed himself on accident. Almost bled to death."

Alfred had steadily paled at each sentence James had uttered. "Thanks for the heads up." He said weakly. "We'll be sure to tell our resident doctor."

James nodded and stepped aside to let the three men pass unimpeded. "Take good care of little Matthew. Give him my best wishes."

~o0o~

They had gotten the unconscious man to Roderich without a hitch after getting him to the van. In the sterile lighting of the medical room in the safe house, faint scars were easily seen against Matthews pale skin. Francis claimed that he hadn't seen them when Matthew had started to removed his shirt and they chocked it up to the faint light of the whore house hiding them. It wasn't exactly a place that would be well lit. Roderich had chased them all out, Alfred especially complaining, so he could have a look over Matthew without exposing him to the others. He wouldn't wish that kind of embarrassment on him, even if he had been a prostitute. There was a difference between work and blatant nakedness in front of others.

He came out after carefully redressing the unconscious man. He then reported his findings to the others who had all sat in the livingroom to wait. He sighed as he entered, removing his glasses and cleaning them on his shirt. They all looked at him expectantly.

"I'm afraid that there are signs of a vast amount of physical abuse." He said softly. "The scars are not recent, either…."

Alfred buried his head in his hands and Arthur laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, murmuring 'Don't blame yourself, lad…' softly to him.

"There's also signs of drug use. Most likely from his pimp. There's scarring on his inner thighs from the multiple needle uses." Roderich continued. "I've placed him on a relaxant. Don't work him up, if you can. I'm running a few simple tests to try and see what kind of drug they give him, but I'll need to send a sample of his blood into a real lab to know for sure." He held up a hand. "Before you say anything, I know you want to keep this under wraps. I know a guy who owes me a favor in the area. I can borrow his lab for it."

"Do what you need to…" Alfred said softly and rubbed his face. "Can…..can I go in….?"

"Yes. He should still be asleep right now. I estimate that he'll be asleep for…." Roderich looked at his watch a moment. "A couple more hours."

"Right. Thanks." Alfred got up and left the others in the room to sit with his brother.

Arthur sighed softly, running a hand through his hair. "This is a mess. Few days ago I didn't even know he had a brother…."

"Now we know that his brother's had a rough life…" Francis finished.

"Ludwig and I talked." Gilbert said. "We decided we'd stick around, just for a little while. Help out here until things settled."

Ludwig nodded slightly in agreement with his brother. "Ja. From what you've told us, he might be a handful for a while."

~o0o~

When they went to check on them they found Alfred lightly holding his brother's hand, tenderly stroking the back of it with his thumb. He was watching him sleep, it seemed, but his eyes were distant with memory. He roused himself when they entered, glancing over at them. He nodded slightly and went back to watching his brother.

"...he probably won't forgive me…." He commented softly. "... _I_ don't forgive me…."

Arthur moved up beside his partner and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "There's no way you would have known this would have happened, Alfred." He tried to assure the younger man.

"But maybe it wouldn't have if I had only stayed….I had just….wanted freedom…..I was just a stupid thirteen year old kid…..who left behind his 10 year old brother….."

"Alfred…..don't beat yourself up, lad…..we'll remedy this."

"How, Arthur…? We can't just….take away the abuse. We can't just make him forget….." He sighed heavily and stared down at Matthew's hand in his, stretching out his fingers and examining the delicate looking appendages. "He was such a good kid...I had once….got him this little stuffed bear when he was four….carried it all over the place with him….bear's name would change every day. He could never remember it….Kuma-something….was never the same…." He chuckled weakly. "Such a good kid…." He lifted Matthew's hand and clasped it in both hands, bending his head and pressing it against their hands.

Arthur sighed and patted his shoulder. "Call us if you need anything Alfred…." He turned and shooed the others from the room to give Alfred time with his brother again. "Bloody hell, this is a mess…."

They all nodded in silent agreement.

~o0o~

Alfred lifted his head from his doze when he heard his brother shift slightly. He sat forward and squeezed Matthew's hand.

"Mattie…?" He asked softly, watching his brother expectantly.

Matthew stirred at his nickname and his eyes slowly fluttered open. "Mmmnn..? Al….." His eyes widened. "Alfred?!" He sat up looking around, his startelement quickly turning to anger. "Where the fuck am I?! _What did you do Alfred?!_ " He jerked his hand out of Alfred's.

"I got you out of there, Mattie…"

"That wasn't your choice to make!"

"Mattie-"

" _Stop!_ I'm not 'Mattie' anymore, Alfred! I'm a grown fucking adult that can take care of himself!"

"Selling your body isn't-"

"You have no say! You lost any fucking say you had in my life the _second_ you stepped foot out that fucking door, Alfred!"

"Matthew…." Alfred said softly. "Please…."

"No! My life has always fucking revolved around you! Mom killed herself because of you! Dad beat the shit out of me and then six months after she died he started grunting her name over me! I'm fucking done with you!" He had started crying. Angrily he scrubbed at his face with his sleeve. "Leave me alone…."

"Matthew…" Alfred moved forward carefully and wrapped Matthew in a hug. "I'm so sorry…."

"Why…?" Matthew asked brokenly. "Why did you leave me….?"

"I don't know, Mattie...I don't know…" He rocked him gently. "What dad did to you was unforgivable…." He smoothed his brother's hair down gently. "I promise you that this time I'm not leaving. I fucking promise that I'm _never_ going to let you go. Ever…"

~o0o~

Everyone was gathered in the medical room as Roderich did a more proper medical examination of Matthew now that he was awake.

"How'd you end up with Alexi, kid?" Gilbert asked, scratching his cheek.

"...after I killed dad, obviously I couldn't stick around so I hopped on the bus and rode it to the end of the line. He snatched me up the second I stepped foot off. He took care of me at first. Gained my trust before tossing me into the whorehouse drugged out of my mind."

"That bastard." Alfred growled and Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Oh, you're one to talk." He retorted hotly and then looked guilty when he got the 'kicked puppy' look. "...sorry…" He mumbled.

Roderich had him slip off his glasses so he could check the dilation of them. "...everything seems in order for now. How often did he drug you?"

"Twice a day. Once before work started once after, right before we went to bed." He fidgeted slightly. "Anybody have a cigarette?"

"Mattie, you're not allowed to smoke!"

"Alfred, I've been fucking smoking since I've been eighteen. I think I'm fucking allowed."

"Mom never-"

" _Mom's not around anymore._ " Matthew snapped at his brother. "She hasn't been around for a long time, or have you forgotten?"

"Not to interrupt, but your brother is right. No smoking." Roderich said briskly. "Not while you're in this house."

"Oh, come on." Matthew whined in a very childish manner. "It keeps me calm."

"Doesn't matter. It's bad for your health and you're not doing it while I'm here."

Matthew huffed with irritation at him. "Fine." He grumbled. "No smoking."

"Good." Roderich glanced at his watch. "What time did you usually get to sleep? Or rather, when did Alexi drug you?"

"Everyone was usually done and the customers were out at about six in the morning. He would shoot us up about six thirty. Would do it just about every twelve hours."

"Well, it's four right now. A few hours or so before withdrawals start, I imagine."

"Fun…." Matthew mumbled sullenly.

"Don't worry, Mattie. I'll stay with you." Alfred said soothingly, taking his hand. "I promised you, didn't I?"

"Yeah…"

"Good. Come on now. Lay down and sleep a little, alright?" The others retreated from the room as Alfred tended gently to his sibling.

"Thing seem to be alright for now." Arthur commented and the others nodded.

"Just don't forget that man's warning." Ludwig said. "We need to keep an eye on him. Alfred won't be able to stay awake the whole time he's recovering, especially from how long it seems he has been drugged."

"Should we take shifts then? We switch every couple hours?" Gilbert suggested.

"We should do two person shifts. Judging from what 'e's been through, it might not be best to 'ave 'im alone with one person, even Alfred." Francis said, crossing his arms.

"I imagine that Alfred would be the only one that Matthew would trust at the moment." Roderich said thoughtfully.

"Maybe we could move a second bed in? Alfred could stay in there and just sleep when he needs to. It would solve any issue with Matthew if Alfred was there, I imagine" Arthur suggested and everyone thought for a second.

"That…..could actually work." Gilbert said after a moment.

"Who knew you could think of such things, Black Sheep." The Frenchmen said flippantly.

"Shut your mouth, Frog!"

~o0o~

(A day later)

"How's he doing?" Arthur asked softly, coming into the room with a tray of food for Matthew and Alfred.

"He's sleeping right now." Alfred tiredly rubbed his face. "Still hallucinating….how's the bite?"

Arthur glanced at his arm, carefully disinfected and wrapped by Roderich after Matthew had bit him during one of his hallucinations. "...cleaned up." He said softly, placing the tray into Alfred's lap. He glanced at the younger blond on the bed, unconscious and bound to it with soft leather straps made specifically for that purpose. "Has he tried scratching himself anymore or…?"

"Nah, not yet. Still been asleep since Roderich knocked him out."

"You should get some sleep yourself, Alfred. Gilbert and Ludwig can come in and watch him for a couple hours. You need sleep."

"I don't-"

"You'll be in the same room, Alfred." Arthur said gently. "You can't expect to stay awake every moment of this, can you?"

"But-!"

"We brought that bloody bed in here for a reason! So eat and then put it to use. I'll go fetch Gilbert and Ludwig and you better have your bloody ass in bed before I put it there myself!" He scolded and left, ignoring any of Alfred's protests.

The two German brothers soon entered, Ludwig nodding with satisfaction when he saw Alfred in the second bed. From the looks of it, he was already asleep, the tray of food untouched. This made the two frown, but they weren't exactly going to wake him up and force him to eat. He would eat when he woke up, or rather they would _make_ him eat. Ludwig took the chair near Matthew's bed, Gilbert leaning against the wall nearby.

"...what do you think will happen to the kid after all of this….?" Gilbert asked softly, glancing at his brother.

"...I'm not sure. I doubt Alfred will let him go off on his own. Especially being wanted for murder."

"I can't believe that he just outright said he committed patricide. There was no guilt there."

"Can you blame him, Gilbert?" Ludwig looked over at Gilbert. "His father had been sexually abusing him for years. I can't imagine that." He looked back at the blond on the bed. "Surely there must be a point where patricide would be alright….."

Gilbert moved, placing his hand on Ludwig's shoulder. "Looking at the kid, I can't just spout the 'murder is bad no matter what'. I mean, _shit_ , just look at him! If he wasn't mentally fucked up by that, I have no idea what _would_ mentally fuck him up…." He sighed, giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze. "I would probably have done the same in his shoes."

Ludwig nodded slightly in agreement. "I suppose he saw it as his only way out…"

"It's a sick world that drives a son to kill his father, scumbag that the bastard was."

"It's a sick world where a father would do that to his son."

* * *

 **This is the end of the first segment. Please let me know if you would like me to continue.**


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